Multi-Culturalism Backfire

Buju - Mama how do say shot in French?

Me-  Um tiré?  I'm not sure.

Buju- head?

Me -tête

5 minutes later I hear from his room.  Je vous tiré juste dans tête.

Me-  ai tiré and la tête, buju.

Buju- Je vous ai tiré juste dans la tête pendejo!



Ah Call of Duty, the game to unite the world?

Around the World in Four Years Without Leaving the Couch

~~For the most part my ex and I get on very well.  One of the problems I do have with him though, is his failure to let the boys travel any where.  If it were up to me, they would have enough stamps to fill two passports, but he won't even sign the forms for them to get passports.  It has finally sunk in that he is gonna be the most enormous, mangy, pimple infested,  oozing donkey's behind about that.  I have to do something about it, so I've decided we are having a global holistay. (or is that staycation) 

There are beaucoup cultures in this world.  I'm mean down south here, that would be boo-koo.  Anyhoo I am going to make a concerted effort to expose them to a film, or book, or music, some other art, or food, anything from anywhere else but here at least once a week.  When your ex husband gives you lemons, you gotta find someone with vodka, and get rat assed. 

~~The illusionist (formerly mi vampiro.  i don't know why i didn't think of that name sooner.  he is always just disappearing on me and like a bad illusionist he sometimes doesn't reappear until the next week when you see him strolling down the street.)  and i are havin a wee issue.  a couple of weeks before i left belize, he stopped staying the night at my house.  because he thought there was a malicious spirit there.  I told him that was no spirit, that was me curled up next to him whilst he was dreaming, but he is convinced it was a spirit.  ok, i don't believe that, but he does.  Fine.  The problem is, he stopped inviting me to his house.  What?  Too much for him to stay there, but it's ok for me?  'I love you, go play with the spirit.  Don't get possessed.  I am going to have to practice my Linda Blair impersonation. 

~~On a more positve note, I entered a flash fiction contest over at Writtenwryd.  I was a big coward and entered anonymously.  Baby steps people. If you like flash fiction, be sure to head over and give the entries a read, they are well worth it.  You can even vote for 1st place, 2nd place, and best use of the given prompt. 

It's Good To Be Back?

There is a little-know sequel to  Lord of the Flies which takes place in the suburbs.  More specifically, the setting is my house.  Can you imagine what your house would look like if you left a 12 and a 10 year old boy all alone for two and half months?  Let me show you.  It might look a little like this.

 This is what greeted me as I opened the front door.

 In my shock I turned to the left.

 Their room.  Yes, that is one of them sleeping peacefully in the chaos.

Ah. I see they have been in my room too.

But I didn't leave them to fend for themselves.  I left them with their father.  THEIR FATHER.  I think that was my mistake.  

for health and safety reasons, i omitted pictures of the bathroom and kitchen.  i love you guys too much to subject you to that.