26 August 2010

Around the World in Four Years Without Leaving the Couch

~~For the most part my ex and I get on very well.  One of the problems I do have with him though, is his failure to let the boys travel any where.  If it were up to me, they would have enough stamps to fill two passports, but he won't even sign the forms for them to get passports.  It has finally sunk in that he is gonna be the most enormous, mangy, pimple infested,  oozing donkey's behind about that.  I have to do something about it, so I've decided we are having a global holistay. (or is that staycation) 

There are beaucoup cultures in this world.  I'm mean down south here, that would be boo-koo.  Anyhoo I am going to make a concerted effort to expose them to a film, or book, or music, some other art, or food, anything from anywhere else but here at least once a week.  When your ex husband gives you lemons, you gotta find someone with vodka, and get rat assed. 

~~The illusionist (formerly mi vampiro.  i don't know why i didn't think of that name sooner.  he is always just disappearing on me and like a bad illusionist he sometimes doesn't reappear until the next week when you see him strolling down the street.)  and i are havin a wee issue.  a couple of weeks before i left belize, he stopped staying the night at my house.  because he thought there was a malicious spirit there.  I told him that was no spirit, that was me curled up next to him whilst he was dreaming, but he is convinced it was a spirit.  ok, i don't believe that, but he does.  Fine.  The problem is, he stopped inviting me to his house.  What?  Too much for him to stay there, but it's ok for me?  'I love you, go play with the spirit.  Don't get possessed.  I am going to have to practice my Linda Blair impersonation. 

~~On a more positve note, I entered a flash fiction contest over at Writtenwryd.  I was a big coward and entered anonymously.  Baby steps people. If you like flash fiction, be sure to head over and give the entries a read, they are well worth it.  You can even vote for 1st place, 2nd place, and best use of the given prompt. 


rxBambi said...

I thought I was going to have the same passport issue with my ex, but luckily it turned out okay.
sucks about the illusionist, dump him. You are worth so much more!
Enjoy your staycation. One think I did with my kids (granted this was 12-13 yrs ago) was have International Week. Every day we had dinner from another country, we decorated, made map placemats, the works. It was fun. They actually still talk about it.
score 1 for mom :)

Old Kitty said...

Oh your babies are very very very lucky to have you as mum!! Good luck with exposing them to all things global and universal! Yay for you!

And I'm sorry to hear about your Illusionist. A malicious spirit? There must be a circle of salt and other mantras one can use to fend such things off? Oh dear, I hope the spirit goes away soon - maybe tell it to see your ex!

Good luck with your flash stories!! Well done you for finishing and submitting! Yay!

Take care

Cinner said...

Sorry to hear about the passport issues with your kids, man those exs can be pains...my sister had a similar problem, he finally signed the papers. he has not seen his children for 8 years. everything is just a control issue with him. You are a good Mom for wanting your children to experience the world. I wish you well and yes maybe send the spirit to the ex. lol. have a great weekend. Be well.

writtenwyrdd said...

It's a good story. And the illusionist sounds like he needs a better excuse for whatever worm is in his brain.

Fragrant Liar said...

Yeah, it would be cool if the kids could have another culture experience - something to balance against the one they know. That's always good for kids, you ask me.

Will check out the flash fiction. Thanks for the link!