22 April 2010
Ghost of Sigmund Freud (GSF): Come, Come lay down on the couch.
Me: I'd rather not, have you a comfy chair?
GSF: It's your couch, you'll be fine on it. What seems to be the problem?
Me: Well Ghost Dr., I'm an...
GSF: It's sexual.
Me: No, If I can finish?
GSF: I see, so it is sexual.
Me: No you loon, I'm ANXIOUS!
GSF: Why are you yelling? Are you attracted to me?
ME: I'm yelling because I'm cranky and you are annoying me.
GSF: You have quite a short fuse.
Me: Yes, I know. I am having anxiety.
GSF: Why? You aren't dead.
Me: Isn't being dead stress free?
GSF: Not at all my dear, the housing problem alone is murder.
Me: Yes, well um back to me. I'm cranky, and I want to sleep all the time. I have no appetite. I can't keep still. I'm unable to focus. I mean I'm reading three books right now. I mean simultaneously, a few sentences from one book, then the next, then the last one. As if that isn't too much, I'm also watching youtube videos, and the football match and surfing the web.
GSF: Why? Why are you stressed? Are you not grateful to be alive, to have healthy happy pikni? Well except for the oldest one, whom I gather is being whiny and obstreperous. You are not hungry or homeless or unloved?
Me: Yes that is true, but still I don't have a job, I'm going to have to move, my children have drunk the Big Gulp of puberty hormones, my grandma is getting ready to die. I apparently look so lost that everywhere I go someone is trying to talk to me about the lord. In one afternoon, I had Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses pass by d house.
GSF: I see.
Me: Do you? Really? Can you tell me? Because I have no idea why I am stressed.
GSF: Yes you do.
Me: There is something I need to confront.
GSF: Good, what?
Me: I dunno, really, I don't.
GSF: Of course you, do stop lying to yourself. Go and meditate until you are willing to accept it.
GSF: And in the meantime have sex. It's good for stress reduction, and then maybe your next session won't be so boring.
Posted by iasa at 3:19 PM